Relationships take a great deal of work. Initially, most of us try to resolve conflict and issues ourselves at home, without any outside intervention. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always prove successful since many couples end up in a cycle that doesn’t result in any improvement. Relationship counseling is a great way to obtain an outside perspective without having to share private information with those around you.

However, for relationship counseling to be successful, you both need to be invested in the process. You also need to understand where you are now and know what you want to get out of it. For this to work, couples are often advised to do certain things to prepare.

Here are our top tips on how to prepare for relationship counseling.

Make sure you are both ready

In many relationships, one party is often ready to embrace counseling sooner than the other. Relationship therapy will only work if both parties are ready, otherwise the less willing individual will feel as though they are being coerced. This won’t make them receptive to the processes that you will go through, rendering the counseling useless.

Discuss shared goals

Most couples have specific things that they are looking to achieve to enjoy greater harmony in their relationship. It can be very valuable to discuss these in advance and create a list of shared goals that you agree on. These could include:

• Finding better ways to manage conflict
• Improving listening and communication
• Understanding the causes of your conflict and how you can avoid them or deal with them more effectively
• Deciding what your life goals are and if you share them
• Working on your conflict style
• Improving the quality or frequency of intimacy
• Learning to validate one another’s feelings

These shared goals will provide a basis for your sessions, although they may adapt and evolve as you continue on your counseling journey.

Be prepared to share your personal history

Although relationship counseling is focused primarily on the people involved in the session, it is rarely the case that only the two of you will be discussed. Other people, including family, friends and even colleagues, can have a significant impact on your relationship too, and this means that these individuals may come up in conversation. You don’t have to tell these people that their name may be part of a wider conversation – in fact, we advise against it – but the process may bring personal history and potentially uncomfortable emotions to the forefront.

Clear your schedule for your counseling sessions

If you have committed to seeing a counselor, one of the first things that you should do is to prioritize these appointments by making sure that you always have space in your busy schedule to attend the sessions. Counseling doesn’t work as effectively when only partner is attending, and by making time to attend every appointment, you are also showing your loved one that you value the process and are committed to showing up – physically as well as emotionally.

Don’t worry if you feel nervous

It’s completely normal to feel anxious or nervous before your first appointment, which will almost certainly be partly due to anticipation and not knowing what to expect. Your counselor will do everything possible to put you at ease so that you and your partner can achieve the maximum benefit from each and every session.

For more tips on how to prepare for relationship counseling, or to schedule an appointment, call Comprehensive Counseling Services, LLC in Tallahassee, Florida at 850-688-2244.